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junio 13, 2023Por Chrisma Luster
Sometimes we have to take our hands off and raise our hands up. In times past I was a task orientated individual and hated not being in control, because I didn’t like the feeling of being vulnerable. Or as we say in the urban setting “Being played” . But I’ve learned now to pray and ask God to give me the wisdom to create two lists #1 Prayer List: Things I have no control over. #2 My List: Things I will work on.
Sometimes, I do feel out of control just as I did about a month ago when I thought I may become houseless again…but GOD!🙌🏽
So, I pray, pray, pray…and I pray some mo!🙏🏽
I know I deal with control issues because I’ve had to be the one in charge for so long that it’s hard to place that responsibility into anyone else’s hand but God’s!!! 🙌🏽❤️
Yes, most of my life I’ve had to deal with control. Control if used positively is beneficial. When control becomes over bearing or you lose control that’s when it’s a problem. The most recent example is when my husband became ill, it was overwhelming and stressful. I found myself losing control. Me finding myself in this place was out of fear, the unknown, and not being able to control or change the situation, especially me being in the Healthcare industry for many years. Over the years when finding myself in this place I’ve learned to pray. Praying brings a tranquility in my spirit. Pray allows me to relinquish my control into HIS hands, because I know HE got me. GOD is not the Author of confusion. Once I relinquish the control back to HIM, I find a peace that surpasses all understanding. Now when awakening every morning I take it to GOD first so he can direct my footsteps.
Yes, yes and yes. I think control can be a great thing -i.e. self-control when I’m tempted to do or have something I should not have lol However, often times if I want or need more control than what I should have or over something that is not in my power it can cause me to feel overwhelmed and anxious. At that point I have to put my full trust and reliance in Jehovah God and remember that man cannot even direct his own step (Jer. 10:23)
Well, where should I start 🤔, 2018 got great news I was going to college moving to Texas. Then my brother got sick in May of 2019 and passed away well I moved, husband back here in GA holding things down carving time out for each other and then in 2020 never will forget, on a plane that was the last out of Bogota Colombia on a college missionary trip, going straight to Ga for family time I was excited 😊, my husband had is routine checkup so we thought, back in Texas, focusing on final exams this week, studying and papers to write me I got this not bragging but A’s and few B’s . Never in a million would I have thought my husband would be calling me three way with medical personnel saying he has to get to Northside before 5 pm, but I am trying to explain where I am and at the same time asking why ( Lukemia) and his white/ red blood count was extremely low, I have always been able to handle the medical are emergency situations that came up but now I am feeling helpless not a trait I adapt to willingly. Fast forward Covid driving 50 miles each way for 2 years, yes graduated but not what was planned Covid changed all that , no celebration just fighting for my husband to receive the care that I was told he would receive, at times wanting to cuss get physical but remembering my call has a Minister on my life, but remembering it’s about my husband’s health getting him moved to Emory and getting his health on track. I can now remodel my home, doing it myself which I wanted to do but it seems we are running into things that is out my reach, so after quotes over the phone then they show up it’s a different price and I am saying Lord how much can I stand, but then realizing I have my husband and knowing the remodeling isn’t going has planned but I will figure it out maybe not today are next week but I know the strength that runs through me and the grace of peace that is mine when I take hold of it. Yes at times the storms come back to back but the sun shines in-between the dark clouds and they don’t last long. Plus getting my Sassy things and getting dressed up are dressing down for everyday reminds me of God’s promises, dreams do come true just keep moving forward. Thank You Charis Jones for creating such beauty, in a world that sometimes colors are gray. Love You SJSS family to Life.
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