I use to have an issue with control, but as the saying goes you live and you learn. Wisdom and experience has taught me to relinquish some of that control. Not only is it liberating, but very productive (with the right team).
God gives us people to assist us so that we don’t have to carry everything on our on. But so often, we allow our insecurities to prevent them from helping us.
Saralyn Pittman le
I ‘m in my 70’s wisdom and Grace has helped with some of my control issues. But recently I have issues with my back, hips and knees. So, sometimes I see things that need to be done and I Can’t move. I’m am an introvert, so being alone is natural. I recently had a doctors appointment and cried about my future. When I was able to get my alone time, I began to think about what I have. In this season of change, I have declared GOD’s best. The vein me didn’t want a walker!! I’m expecting the walker any day. Tens machine on the way. A wheel chair will be at the dock for me to board the ship for my cruise. Now, when I’m in pain; I thank GOD for the ability to feel. As a Pastor, I needed a dose of what I give out. I’m back in control, how? I appreciate what I do have.
Mary King le
Control for me is a word that has negative connotations in my world. It edges on the seats of perfection, domination, and narcissistic behaviors. These examples do not apply to Charis, but I know ppl who have these negative behaviors. The good thing about these behaviors is that they can be changed over time. With journaling, therapy, prayer, affirmations, and just reflecting on the situations that make these behaviors arise. I believe, most behaviors are learned, so they can be unlearned. Personally, I don’t have control issues. I plan activities to fit my day accordingly. My attitude is gratitude because I love ppl and life in general. My personality is bold; but I oftentimes, suppress it because anxiety can take over. My composure of reservedness helps me to stay calm. Long walks in nature with oneness brings the clarity needed to tackle hard jobs or a momentous task. Plan how you will execute each task with a checklist. Color code each category as it’s completed. After each task is completed reward yourself. These rewards do not have to be tangible. I say, when that control attack rears its head, SHOUT OUT! “Not today, begone!” RELAX….RELATE….REJUVENATE.,, ☺️💫✨
Diana Bryant le
Control for me is a word that has negative connotations in my world. It edges on the seats of perfection, domination, and narcissistic behaviors. These examples do not apply to Charis, but I know ppl who have these negative behaviors. The good thing about these behaviors is that they can be changed over time. With journaling, therapy, prayer, affirmations, and just reflecting on the situations that make these behaviors arise. I believe, most behaviors are learned, so they can be unlearned. Personally, I don’t have control issues. I plan activities to fit my day accordingly. My attitude is gratitude because I love ppl and life in general. My personality is bold; but I oftentimes, suppress it because anxiety can take over. My composure of reservedness helps me to stay calm. Long walks in nature with oneness brings the clarity needed to tackle hard jobs or a momentous task. Plan how you will execute each task with a checklist. Color code each category as it’s completed. After each task is completed reward yourself. These rewards do not have to be tangible. I say, when that control attack rears its head, SHOUT OUT! “Not today, begone!” RELAX….RELATE….REJUVENATE.,, ☺️💫✨
Diana Bryant le
I understand exactly how you feel. Being a Wife, Mother, Businesswoman, friend, and all the other titles and responsibilities that we have can be overwhelming. I am learning God is in control. When it comes to my personal life, family, and my businesses, I want complete control. However, I am starting to realize I can’t be everything to everyone and have nothing for myself. If I am not my best, how am I going to be my best to my family and all the other responsibilities that I have? I have to Take CARE of ME FIRST, and that requires giving up some control.
Monique Stewart le
Let’s first unpack these feelings. When you are used to being in control of every aspect of your life, it becomes so unnerving when you are not able to do that. Change is a whole vibe in itself. It makes us uncomfortable, makes us feel vulnerable, and uncertain, to say the least. I moved almost a thousand miles away from Illinois to Charlotte North Carolina last year to start a new relationship. I had a new man, a new home a new job, looking for new friends, just looking for my new place in life. My anxiety level was so high that it took a toll on me mentally and physically. Everything changed at once and for a woman that is used to being the boss and in total control, this was devastating for me. So I made a decision to just stop. I just stopped. I stopped trying to be on top of everything, to be that woman that is always graceful and have that smile on my face, like everything is okay. I stopped and I got on my knees and I had that ugly cry. That ugly cry that makes your chest and your head hurt. I finally said the words that I would never thought I would hear come out of my mouth – God I relinquish all of my worries, all of my problems, all of my anxieties. God I give it all to you. I can’t do it anymore God; I can’t be the driver anymore. I’m not supposed to God, because I am supposed to look to you for strength and guidance. I too have boxes of my things that I have brought with me from Illinois that I had never unpacked. I took the next month and just unpacked a box a day. I purposely took my time because I went through everything and decided if I really needed it, and if it really had purpose in my life. I stopped trying to be perfect, as I recognize that it was going to be a difficult transition for me. Once I relinquished that need to control everything, a weight was lifted off of me. My advice would be to just stop. Stop trying to wear that smile and be perfect and to do everything at once. That’s just not going to work. Like you schedule meetings and appointments, schedule time to unpack five boxes and that’s it. The rest of the time relax, be a mom and a wife and your fabulous self. This is your forever home, so chile
what’s the big hurry? You have the power to make this part of your life pleasurable. Just do what you need to do in moderation. What you don’t get to one day, you’ll get to another day. Just breathe sis, it’s going to be okay!
Veronica Jackson le
Absolutely, I’m currently going through the same feelings with my business. I decided to let go and let God. I would gladly love to control every situation right now but I can not. Therefore I decided to sit in my backyard and look at the beautiful view. And tonight I will have a delicious drink and binge watch a good movie. I will let God do what he does behind the scene. He hasn’t failed me yet. So cheers to great things, a wonderful journey and a great life. Let’s focus on what’s ahead of us rather than what is really behind us. We are too Blessed to be stressed. Keep it pushing my sister let us enjoy the day!
Anonymous le
I used to have a real bad problem with trying to control everything around me, including my partners in past relationships.
It was hard to delegate at work because it felt like the work wasn’t getting done the WAY I felt it should get done.
It took a while for me to let it go in relationships because I was so used to be lied to so I always felt I had to “catch something before it happened” so I wouldn’t be felt to seem crazy (which I never was bcuz my instincts were always on point in the end). I learned to allow people to do what they would rather do and to get the courage to leave when things no longer served me positively.
And as far as work, here’s the thing…the work was STILL getting done. THE PROCESS may have not been how i would have done it but the RESULTS were still what I desired.
I had to learn to let go of that deep need to be in control, do what I can in the best way I could, and let the cards fall where they may. The tension at work, and in future relationships, was no more. It’s a much better place for me today mentally.
Mecca Mitchell le
I am becoming an “empty nester” and it’s beginning to take a toll. I find myself working more and not taking time for myself. I feel like I am in constant need to produce so that they won’t have to endure any difficulties. I hope that makes sense… I don’t know if I know me….and I don’t like that…
DayNah le
I am horrible at given up control. I feel if I do something will not get done. I learned the hard way, when I leave something up to someone else to handle, it doesn’t happen. I’m still trying to learn how to relinquish control to my husband..🤦🏾♀️
commentaires
I use to have an issue with control, but as the saying goes you live and you learn. Wisdom and experience has taught me to relinquish some of that control. Not only is it liberating, but very productive (with the right team).
God gives us people to assist us so that we don’t have to carry everything on our on. But so often, we allow our insecurities to prevent them from helping us.
I ‘m in my 70’s wisdom and Grace has helped with some of my control issues. But recently I have issues with my back, hips and knees. So, sometimes I see things that need to be done and I Can’t move. I’m am an introvert, so being alone is natural. I recently had a doctors appointment and cried about my future. When I was able to get my alone time, I began to think about what I have. In this season of change, I have declared GOD’s best. The vein me didn’t want a walker!! I’m expecting the walker any day. Tens machine on the way. A wheel chair will be at the dock for me to board the ship for my cruise. Now, when I’m in pain; I thank GOD for the ability to feel. As a Pastor, I needed a dose of what I give out. I’m back in control, how? I appreciate what I do have.
Control for me is a word that has negative connotations in my world. It edges on the seats of perfection, domination, and narcissistic behaviors. These examples do not apply to Charis, but I know ppl who have these negative behaviors. The good thing about these behaviors is that they can be changed over time. With journaling, therapy, prayer, affirmations, and just reflecting on the situations that make these behaviors arise. I believe, most behaviors are learned, so they can be unlearned. Personally, I don’t have control issues. I plan activities to fit my day accordingly. My attitude is gratitude because I love ppl and life in general. My personality is bold; but I oftentimes, suppress it because anxiety can take over. My composure of reservedness helps me to stay calm. Long walks in nature with oneness brings the clarity needed to tackle hard jobs or a momentous task. Plan how you will execute each task with a checklist. Color code each category as it’s completed. After each task is completed reward yourself. These rewards do not have to be tangible. I say, when that control attack rears its head, SHOUT OUT! “Not today, begone!” RELAX….RELATE….REJUVENATE.,, ☺️💫✨
Control for me is a word that has negative connotations in my world. It edges on the seats of perfection, domination, and narcissistic behaviors. These examples do not apply to Charis, but I know ppl who have these negative behaviors. The good thing about these behaviors is that they can be changed over time. With journaling, therapy, prayer, affirmations, and just reflecting on the situations that make these behaviors arise. I believe, most behaviors are learned, so they can be unlearned. Personally, I don’t have control issues. I plan activities to fit my day accordingly. My attitude is gratitude because I love ppl and life in general. My personality is bold; but I oftentimes, suppress it because anxiety can take over. My composure of reservedness helps me to stay calm. Long walks in nature with oneness brings the clarity needed to tackle hard jobs or a momentous task. Plan how you will execute each task with a checklist. Color code each category as it’s completed. After each task is completed reward yourself. These rewards do not have to be tangible. I say, when that control attack rears its head, SHOUT OUT! “Not today, begone!” RELAX….RELATE….REJUVENATE.,, ☺️💫✨
I understand exactly how you feel. Being a Wife, Mother, Businesswoman, friend, and all the other titles and responsibilities that we have can be overwhelming. I am learning God is in control. When it comes to my personal life, family, and my businesses, I want complete control. However, I am starting to realize I can’t be everything to everyone and have nothing for myself. If I am not my best, how am I going to be my best to my family and all the other responsibilities that I have? I have to Take CARE of ME FIRST, and that requires giving up some control.
Let’s first unpack these feelings. When you are used to being in control of every aspect of your life, it becomes so unnerving when you are not able to do that. Change is a whole vibe in itself. It makes us uncomfortable, makes us feel vulnerable, and uncertain, to say the least. I moved almost a thousand miles away from Illinois to Charlotte North Carolina last year to start a new relationship. I had a new man, a new home a new job, looking for new friends, just looking for my new place in life. My anxiety level was so high that it took a toll on me mentally and physically. Everything changed at once and for a woman that is used to being the boss and in total control, this was devastating for me. So I made a decision to just stop. I just stopped. I stopped trying to be on top of everything, to be that woman that is always graceful and have that smile on my face, like everything is okay. I stopped and I got on my knees and I had that ugly cry. That ugly cry that makes your chest and your head hurt. I finally said the words that I would never thought I would hear come out of my mouth – God I relinquish all of my worries, all of my problems, all of my anxieties. God I give it all to you. I can’t do it anymore God; I can’t be the driver anymore. I’m not supposed to God, because I am supposed to look to you for strength and guidance. I too have boxes of my things that I have brought with me from Illinois that I had never unpacked. I took the next month and just unpacked a box a day. I purposely took my time because I went through everything and decided if I really needed it, and if it really had purpose in my life. I stopped trying to be perfect, as I recognize that it was going to be a difficult transition for me. Once I relinquished that need to control everything, a weight was lifted off of me. My advice would be to just stop. Stop trying to wear that smile and be perfect and to do everything at once. That’s just not going to work. Like you schedule meetings and appointments, schedule time to unpack five boxes and that’s it. The rest of the time relax, be a mom and a wife and your fabulous self. This is your forever home, so chile
what’s the big hurry? You have the power to make this part of your life pleasurable. Just do what you need to do in moderation. What you don’t get to one day, you’ll get to another day. Just breathe sis, it’s going to be okay!
Absolutely, I’m currently going through the same feelings with my business. I decided to let go and let God. I would gladly love to control every situation right now but I can not. Therefore I decided to sit in my backyard and look at the beautiful view. And tonight I will have a delicious drink and binge watch a good movie. I will let God do what he does behind the scene. He hasn’t failed me yet. So cheers to great things, a wonderful journey and a great life. Let’s focus on what’s ahead of us rather than what is really behind us. We are too Blessed to be stressed. Keep it pushing my sister let us enjoy the day!
I used to have a real bad problem with trying to control everything around me, including my partners in past relationships.
It was hard to delegate at work because it felt like the work wasn’t getting done the WAY I felt it should get done.
It took a while for me to let it go in relationships because I was so used to be lied to so I always felt I had to “catch something before it happened” so I wouldn’t be felt to seem crazy (which I never was bcuz my instincts were always on point in the end). I learned to allow people to do what they would rather do and to get the courage to leave when things no longer served me positively.
And as far as work, here’s the thing…the work was STILL getting done. THE PROCESS may have not been how i would have done it but the RESULTS were still what I desired.
I had to learn to let go of that deep need to be in control, do what I can in the best way I could, and let the cards fall where they may. The tension at work, and in future relationships, was no more. It’s a much better place for me today mentally.
I am becoming an “empty nester” and it’s beginning to take a toll. I find myself working more and not taking time for myself. I feel like I am in constant need to produce so that they won’t have to endure any difficulties. I hope that makes sense… I don’t know if I know me….and I don’t like that…
I am horrible at given up control. I feel if I do something will not get done. I learned the hard way, when I leave something up to someone else to handle, it doesn’t happen. I’m still trying to learn how to relinquish control to my husband..🤦🏾♀️